As I have often written, "There are two ways of looking at life; the way it is, or the way we will like to believe it is".
The first step is a honest at our ownselves. This article on 'Critical Thinking' offers an interesting 'How-to list...' (see below).
The article is titled, "Becoming a Critic of your own thinking'.
A how-to list for dysfunctional living
Most people have no notion of what it means to take charge of their lives. They don’t realize that the quality of their lives depends on the quality of their thinking.
We all engage in numerous dysfunctional practices to avoid facing problems in our thinking. Consider the following and ask yourself how many of these dysfunctional ways of thinking you engage in:
- Surround yourself with people who think like you. Then no one will criticize you.
- Don’t question your relationships. You then can avoid dealing with problems within them.
- If critiqued by a friend or lover, look sad and dejected and say, “I thought you were my friend!” or “I thought you loved me!”
- When you do something unreasonable, always be ready with an excuse. Then you won’t have to take responsibility. If you can’t think of an excuse, look sorry and say, “I can’t help how I am!”
- Focus on the negative side of life. Then you can make yourself miserable and blame it on others.
- Blame others for your mistakes. Then you won’t have to feel responsible for your mistakes. Nor will you have to do anything about them.
- Verbally attack those who criticize you. Then you don’t have to bother listening to what they say.
- Go along with the groups you are in. Then you won’t have to figure out anything for yourself.
- Act out when you don’t get what you want. If questioned, look indignant and say, “I’m just an emotional person. At least I don’t keep my feelings bottled up!”
- Focus on getting what you want. If questioned, say, “If I don’t look out for number one, who will?”
Read the entire article